Many mothers feel tearful, anxious or flat after their baby arrives. You are not alone, it is not your fault, and it does not mean you are a bad mother. Support helps, and most women feel better with it.

The baby blues

In the first days after birth, lots of women feel emotional: crying without knowing why, feeling irritable, or worrying more than usual. This is often called the baby blues. It is linked to big changes in hormones and to tiredness.

The baby blues usually ease by themselves within two weeks. Rest, food and kind company help.

When it is more than the blues

Sometimes low feelings last longer or feel heavier. This is called postnatal depression. It is common — worldwide, around one in seven women experience it — and it can be treated.

Talk to a health worker if, for more than two weeks, you:

  • feel sad, empty or hopeless most of the time
  • no longer enjoy things, including time with your baby
  • feel very anxious, panicky or unable to rest even when you can
  • struggle to sleep, even when your baby is sleeping
  • feel you are not coping, or that your family would be better without you

Postnatal depression can also affect fathers and partners.

What helps

  • Tell someone you trust. Saying it out loud is often the hardest and most useful step.
  • Talk to a health worker at your postnatal check-up or at any clinic visit. You can say: “I have not been feeling like myself since the birth.”
  • Accept practical help with cooking, washing and night feeds, so you can rest.
  • Keep small routines — eating, washing, a short walk outside in daylight.

Treatment may include talking therapy, support groups, and sometimes medicine. Some medicines are safe to take while breastfeeding; your health worker can explain your choices.

For family and friends

You can help by listening without judging, taking on practical tasks, and going with her to the clinic if she would like company. Avoid telling her to “be strong” or that she should be happy — she already knows how she is expected to feel.

If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

Go to the nearest hospital straight away, or ask someone to take you. These thoughts are a sign of illness, not of who you are, and you deserve care today.